Control Issues, Why They Happen & How To Let Go Artwork

Couplehood

In the Couplehood podcast, you’ll learn key communication strategies that will help you speak your truth and share with your partner in a loving and constructive way. Hosted by Allison Villa - a registered psychotherapist and relationship expert - with a mission to empower parents to make their romantic relationship a priority. We’ll dive deep into the reasons why so many couples let the little things brew in their relationships — and how you can face these proactively to avoid putting your couple in the breakdown lane. You’ll discover why self-care can actually be the key to having a harmonious relationship and how easy it can be to schedule it into your day — even as a busy parent!

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Couplehood

Control Issues, Why They Happen & How To Let Go

May 31, 2021 • Allison Villa • Episode 22

“When I’m referring to control, I’m referring to when you are pulled to wanting to control yourself, control your environment, or control the behavior of others.”

— Allison Villa

In times of stress or uncertainty, people may develop new behaviors as a way to regain a sense of control. Often, people raised in certain situations develop these behaviors as a way to compensate. This episode looks at control issues — why they develop, what they look like, how they affect our relationships, and what we can do to heal them.

Control issues range from mild to severe. They can look like trying to control yourself or your environment, as in compulsive tidying or arranging or picky eating. They can also be more harmful, such as disordered eating, compulsive exercising, substance abuse, obsessive cleaning, or self harm.

Control issues can also manifest as trying to control another person, as in micromanaging, being overprotective, or helicopter parenting.

Depending on the degree and frequency, these issues can create ruptures in the fabric of a relationship.

People who have control issues often don’t want to be controlling! They feel shame and frustration about their behavior, often don’t understand what leads them to behave that way, and are afraid that they may end up losing their relationship.

The good news is that control issues can aren’t forever. There are steps that you can take right now to start you on the path to healing.

In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode of Couplehood,‌ ‌you’ll discover:‌ ‌

How many control issues initially take root — and why it’s so important to understand where they come from
Two simple ways to help yourself start to let go of your control issues
How to create micro-moments that retrain your brain to let go of control

“If you took on that parent role as a young person, you might have those control issues now.”

— Allison Villa

‌Highlights:‌ ‌

01:04 What do control issues look like?
02:37 Control issues within relationships
03:25 Where do control issues come from?
05:03 Discovering your control issue’s root
06:37 Micro-moments & choosing to let go

Links:‌ ‌ ‌

Work With Me:

https://www.allisonvilla.com

Follow Me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/allison__villa

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